Nebulous

We had the Three Little Pigs and The Grim Reaper at our door last night. It seems a good title for a short story.

Today is the first day of NANOWRIMO and I’m pleased to say that I’m motivated, but my writing was more documentation than creative. This is the month to finish the novel I started writing.

Todd knows all the lyrics to Superfreak, and just serenaded me with them. Does this mean I’m a very kinky girl? Did he think twice about taking me home to mother?

My mother-in-law loves me. She calls me and tells me so. I love her back.

There’s something so satisfying in the sound of an English woman declaring, “how DARE you?” I aim to perfect that.

And, on that note, I shared a meme recently: The term domestic housewife implies that there is a feral housewife and now I have a new life goal. I need to explore this.

Our dogs are restless today. They missed the memo about daylight savings.

I dreamed of our friend Chip, the bass player, last night. And this morning a post he’d tagged us in years ago was in my Facebook memories. I wonder what kind of sign this is?

I’m down a pant size. This is a happy revelation. Except that I need to sort through my bottoms because some of them are too loose.

He’s still singing Superfreak. I question what he’s implying about getting me off the streets???

And now he’s saying it’s hard to sing when you’re lying down. That’s his excuse for singing off-key. And I feel the need to clarify that we’re in the living room and he’s on the couch, opposite me.

Todd’s dream career was a singer. Mine was actress. He knew he couldn’t sing and I knew I’d be a terrible actress.

I would’ve made a terrible celebrity. I love my privacy and I can’t make out with people I’m not in love with. Well, except for that one time.

Regrets in retrospect. I contemplated taking an acting class over the summer in 1990 at NYU that would’ve cost me $3,000 and would’ve connected me to the soap opera world.

And I once dated a guy who was an extra in Rain Man (in the diner). We had great fun together, but he was a terrible boyfriend.

Too many terrible boyfriends. There’s no excuse for being young, dumb, and full of ***. You know what I mean. But I did learn some things, from some of them.

Todd and I watched the first episode of The Mandalorian, 2nd season. There’s this one scene and I’m like… who IS that? I know that actor… and so I looked up the cast of season 2 and then all of a sudden I yelled Timothy Olyphant!!!! and I think I startled him. But – TIMOTHY OLYPHANT.

I love Timothy Olyphant. Not in that, OMG-he’s-so-hot way, but in that he’s-so-versatile-he-was-a-serious-badass-in-Hitman-and-was-fucking-hilarious-in-Santa-Clarita-Diet-I-can’t-believe-he-got-his-start-in-A-Few-Good-Men way. But, he aint hard on the eyes. I’m not into facial hair but it looks good on him. The same way that it looks good on Todd’s BFF. And now I’ve said too much.

Did I mention that Todd stopped shaving last year so he could be Obi Wan for Halloween and it looked totally hot? And then he shaved it off because it was itchy.

Which reminds me of the time my friend told me she’d shaved and she was losing her fucking mind with the itching. Which then reminded me of another friend in college who told me one drunken night that her mother never told her about the birds and the bees, or ANYTHING for that matter, and so she was shaving her pubic hair off because she thought it didn’t belong there.

I don’t remember what my mom told me but I do remember telling her, because I wanted to include her, that I wanted to go on birth control pills and she cried. Thank God she always liked Todd. And thank GOD my dad didn’t know. Well, I guess he does now.

Back to The Mandalorian. So a friend leaked a spoiler so I knew before I saw it, but I ordered Todd to put his glasses on so he could see “it.” He didn’t catch it right away and I had to point out a physical characteristic and then he knew. And now, if you’re a Star Wars fan and you haven’t watched yet – get on it!

I also highly recommend Ratched, on Netflix, because Sara Paulson is the fucking QUEEN and I love her. It’s produced by Ryan Murphy – who’s also the creator of American Horror Story and Hollywood.

Sad news today that Sir Sean Connery passed away. Another seriously hot-for-a-grandfather guy. Is this a sign that I’m old, when all the iconic actors start passing away?

I remember the first time I remarked to my dad that I thought Armand Assante, who was his age, was hot. At the time I was 23. He was visibly uncomfortable. I guess it’s almost the same as V telling me she thinks Matt Damon is hot.

Hot flashes. I’m having them. Regularly. They’re not what I thought they were, and they’re not unbearable, just annoying as fuck. Todd is right this very minute complaining that it’s so hot in here and I’m not feeling it. I may have not been very sympathetic. This is why there are cammies and shorts, folks. Except Todd might look funny in a cammie – or wife-beater – for that matter.

It has occurred to me that today’s word is … for better or worse…  hot. That wasn’t where I was going with this post.

I don’t actually know where I was going with this post.

Mercury is in retrograde until November 3rd (apropos) – thus the wonky dashboard in my car, the computer issues at work, phones going down, and issues in absolutely everything else controlled by electronics.

Full circle – I strung a line up between the railings of my front porch and clothes-pinned bags of Halloween candy on it, and everyone who came last night was able to socially distance AND get candy. We waved at the kids through the front windows.

Boo hasn’t been around for a few days – I say initially because he wasn’t honored on National Black Cat Day but then mom told me she’d bought a kitty carrier so she could take him to get fixed and so now I think that’s why he’s in hiding. Nobody wants to lose their balls.

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