There’s Something Wrong With My House

Something’s wrong with my house.  I woke up the other morning, and saw it.  My house is infected with something, and I’m not sure what to do!

I keep finding them all over the floors, and what’s worse – they multiply.  It makes no difference how many times I pick one up, there’s always more.  And the truth is, I guess, they’ve always been there.  Though lately, it seems to be spreading.

Some are big, some are small, some in-between.  Most of them are black, but then a few of them have different colors, or dots on them.

But the most maddening part of it? NO ONE else sees them but me.  I’ve seen them in the bedrooms, the bathrooms, the living room, the dining room… I have even found them in my bed!  The only place I haven’t seen them – the one place I would expect to find them – is our hampers. 

I’ve heard tales of other people finding them in hampers, but I don’t recall the last time I saw one in ours.  If other people have them, they don’t talk about it.  Am I the only one?

And then I start to worry, you know, that maybe it’s me.  It could be.  After all, I am the only one that sees them.  Even the dogs don’t see them.  They walk right past them, or step on them, without so much as a sniff.  I’ve seen the cat lying on top of them.  Thankfully, they don’t stick to his fur.

I’m afraid that I will never stop seeing them.  If I stop picking them up, I’m afraid it will get so bad that I won’t be able to have people over.  The weird thing is, my parents were over last weekend and I saw two big black ones on the floor in the living room, but they didn’t even notice!

Then again – if I do stop picking them up – ever – maybe others will start seeing them. Or, at the very least, start looking for them.  Since they won’t be finding them in their dresser drawers.

Natch.

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