Discoveries

I was going to call this More Things That Piss Me Off, but after reading Today’s Word with Joel Osteen about focusing on the blessings of each moment and not allowing the little things (translation: that which pisses me off) to steal today’s joy, I felt compelled to change my focus to reflect recent Discoveries for which I can find blessing.
Here they are, in no particular order:
Doing laundry.  Specifically, jeans/pants/leggings that are half inside out with the dirty underwear wrapped around the legs.  This is a rather fascinating phenomenon that shows no signs of abating.  I am learning about patience and developing better communication skills – since yelling at the offenders to. Stop. Doing. This. isn’t working.  Or perhaps, I will find myself not doing laundry anymore.  Bonus!
Clogged toilets.  There was a time in my life when a clogged toilet would introduce a near panic attack response for me.  Presently, every week there is at least one toilet in the house that requires my plunging skills.  But – not only do I remain calm and keep plunging… I have also learned how to plunge a toilet so that the contents do not splash out onto the floor, or my clothes.  I’d say this is quite an achievement.  And I am fine-tuning my research skills (I’m adding this to my resume) as I seek out answers to our ailing toilets, flushing features of new toilets, and bowel health remedies for the chief offender.
The dishwasher.  The control panel has gone wonky again.  Instead of getting pissed off, I have eagerly taken over the new task of handwashing dishes, and it takes me back to warm childhood memories of when dishwashers didn’t exist.  Todd and I – while we are still struggling to make decisions on where or what to eat (see We’re Not Healthy!) – are able to effectively decide together that buying a new dishwasher just doesn’t make sense right now.  We are a team! But wait – I’m not that frugal – I am still buying paper plates and plastic flatware.

Breast pain.  Not something the guys can relate to (sorry guys), but suffering through 2 weeks of breast tenderness every month is not for the faint of heart.  What should be sheer ecstasy – taking the bra off at the end of the day (again guys, you just can’t understand) – is more akin to having a bikini wax. (Not that I know anything about that.)  I am just so grateful I still have hormones that create said pain.  And I just love having a period too.  Makes me feel like a woman!

Weight gain.  Weight gain can drive anyone to the brink, myself included.  While I have watched the scale tipping higher and higher as my jeans get tighter and tighter, I have redirected my focus on the joy of new clothes’ shopping.  What better excuse for buying new clothes?  People have suggested that it’s the joy of being in love.  I’ll go with that.  But what’s better is learning to accept the bulge, eating better, and not wasting away in custody battleville.

Tenants.  Tenants have been the bane of my existence for the last 2 years.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t sign on to be a landlord of anythingwhen I married the love of my life.  And, while his vows are kinda fuzzy to me now, I’m positive he didn’t mention rehabilitating his house after Shit Storm Sally.  Really, this should be a separate post, and probably will be, but I have seen things I thought I would never see in a home I call my own.  And then there are the tenants still living in the garage apartment, who have violated every sacred code I have about respect for what is “borrowed.”  But, I am thankful they provide some degree of financial reward.  I am learning about the fine art of avoidance (don’t go outside when they are), and the fine art of “smile and wave” when you can’t say what’s really on your mind.  Plus, I believe in Karma. (That’s with a capital K.)

Common Core Math.  Because no piss-off list would be complete without it.  I tried to have an open mind about this new style of math, but as we go deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole, I’ve found myself kicking and screaming all the way, declaring this shit just plain stupid.  NOT a good example for my daughter.  In the words of Bugs Bunny, if you can’t fight ‘em, join ‘em.  I’m trying to learn.  It’s been a growing experience for someone who has hated math her whole life.
And finally… in honor of National Diabetes Awareness month…


Diabetes.  No, not your grandma’s diabetes.  Type ONE diabetes. Diabetes offers a daily menu of things to piss me off, from my daughter’s insulin-induced (or lack of thereof) mood swings, to her wildly changing blood sugar readings just when you’ve got things under control, to the unrelenting public misconceptions of what she can or cannot eat, how it differs from Type 2, and how to “really” cure it.  Her diabetes has taught me a great deal about patience, perseverance, eating well, the very fiber of a person’s character, and how to educate others on the realities of this horrific disease.  It has also connected me with so many people I would never have known, and am grateful for.
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