Where I Wake Up Next to Another Man

Probably not the best followup to my last post but, as they say, what happens tonight goes on Facebook tomorrow.

We planned a small gathering of friends and our parents, and Mother Nature planned a winter wonderland to otherwise shut down what would have been a house-quaking party. Okay, not really a house-quaking. But nearly everyone north of the Mason-Dixon bagged out due to the icy road conditions and the danger of driving home later.

On the menu: lasagna with hot Italian sausage, white vegetarian lasagna, pulled pork, Cuban sandwiches, white bean and spinach soup, mixed greens salad, buffalo chicken dip, chips and salsa, and the standard crudité. The in-laws, who were bringing the cheesecake, opted out of the drive too – so Todd pulled a homemade apple pie out of the freezer, and thank God someone brought brownies and a wicked cheeseball that would put any fancy wedge of cheese to shame.

For such a small crowd, we ATE. Even the crudité, which is always at a party and really – who wants to eat raw vegetables at a party? Would you like some chocolate cake layered with chocolate mousse? Oh no thank you, I’ll just chew on this chunk of raw cauliflower.

And, like anything we do in this house which ends up with all the appearance of half-assed – even spending all of Friday night prepping food and 4 hours Saturday prepping the house – the guest room was still unmade and the vacuum lying on the floor next the bed, which to you sounds like no big deal but the room was doubling as a play area for the Oculus.* The artificial tree we put up in the rec room was assembled by Opac and my brother in the final hour, with only lights and no ornaments. (There are still no ornaments on it.)

One of my Christmas boxes with decorations in and on top of it, remained in the living room next to the couch the entire evening. In fact, it’s still there. The wreath I made last year with Christmas balls was lying on an accent chair behind the couch, apparently awaiting hell to freeze over until I could repair it and hang it on the front door.

We have four bathrooms in this house: the master bath, the hall bathroom (aka the kids’ bathroom), the powder room off the living room, and the bathroom downstairs in the rec room. The latter is desperately in need of a massive renovation. As for the hall bathroom, anyone with kids they don’t share a bathroom with can attest to the horrors within the confines of this room. It wouldn’t be a normal day if that toilet was working, and this evening was no different. Thankfully, no one attempted it. Well, except for V who will continue to use a clogged toilet until it rivals the look and feel of a port-a-potty.

Todd found some time to throw some lights on the two trees against the house, which at the time I thought was great until the next day when I saw that a tree and a half were lit. I said, Todd – what happened to the lights? He said he ran out of lights and forgot to look for another strand. And guess what? There’s still a tree and half a tree with lights on them.

I’d work on that today, but it’s freakin’ 19 degrees outside and I just spent 10 minutes righting the recycling can in gale force winds, collecting all the cans and cardboard that blew into my neighbor’s yard. And, if she’s reading this – Kay, I’m very sorry if I missed anything and also I apologize for any strange noises you may have heard in the backyard on Saturday night.

And, while we’re on the subject – I put the brakes on two drunks and one twelve-year-old with a recorder who wanted to go caroling, so neighbors – you’re welcome.

Anyway, the guests. We had a low turnout which was actually nice because of who showed up. The staggering of the arrivals made for pleasant and equal conversation. We got some chat time with one of the couples from our San Francisco trip, and later with a couple Todd used to bowl with whom we shared our Pittsburgh experience, and the last couple were new to me so I had some time to chat with them towards the end before Todd sat down next to me and I promptly passed out fell asleep.

Yes, I had wine. I had wine, because hello! It’s a party. I wasn’t drunk, not even once, but I was definitely pacing myself through food and wine and water until sleep overtook me in the presence of two people I’d only just met. I’m so good with first impressions.

And the next thing I know – I woke up at 3 a.m. on the sectional by the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree and the hearth, the lamp next to the couch still lit and the television still on at a volume reserved for rowdy football games… and the room empty but for Robbie, who was asleep completely upright, snoring like a bear at the other end of the couch.

 

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One thought on “Where I Wake Up Next to Another Man

  1. Pingback: 4 Parties and a Hangover | The Tara Chronicles

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