I got home from work Saturday a little after 12:30, after being up since 5:50 a.m., found Todd seated on the couch with the cat on the ottoman at his feet and the dog sleeping nearby. We shared hellos and some basic updates before I launched into a continuation of what he described as a soap opera earlier that morning. There’s this foster mom who recently took on two more children – siblings – and the county gave her very little information about them including, but not limited to, conflicting names and no medical histories. I was the lucky recipient of her first phone call to get them seen in our practice, one of the longest and more frustrating of patient calls I’ve had so far. The background noise on her end sounded like a daycare and made it very difficult to understand, and then I think she stepped outside to hear me better and the sound quality escalated to something resembling an airport landing strip.

So anyway. She had an appointment on Friday afternoon, the day of the blizzard, and she called to cancel it and reschedule for Saturday morning. You could say I’ve learned a thing or two about scheduling and I’m getting more savvy with it. I offered her an appointment immediately following another already scheduled. Some of our physicians don’t like Saturday mornings being stretched into eternity and I knew that. She asked for something later, because she was worried about road conditions in the morning. I didn’t want to say it, but I said the latest I have is 11. She took it. And I knew I was going hear about it the next morning.

I called it. Our doctor, who I predicted wouldn’t be happy about this 11:00 appointment if we didn’t get any more sick calls (we did…phew!), did ask me what happened when it was rescheduled for that morning. It was awesome. She discreetly told me she has a problem with some people making later appointments and then being late for those. Which I completely understand. Word to the wise: if you are consistently late and inconsiderate to your healthcare providers, don’t think for a moment they won’t remember you. Fastest lesson I learned this year: don’t be late for appointments.

So I’m telling Todd all about the roads, about the entitled white-haired lady in the Mercedes who wasn’t content to be behind me at 75 mph, about seeing someone from V’s school and the conversation we had, and about how pleasant everyone was coming in this morning. We conversed about this and that, sharing opinions and then I went on to share more thoughts about that and this… and I watched him from across the room… his expression silently shifting as I spoke.

So I said very matter-of-factly, they don’t have any decaf in the office. And Todd burst out laughing at me. What? At least I went with a light roast. It could’ve been worse, I told him. That was only four hours’ worth. Imagine what 8 would be like.

Meanwhile, today is house-cleaning gift-wrapping finish-decorating baking laundry put-shit-away day… and we’re expecting a very important delivery that I was worried about missing, because I know there are criminals out there following UPS and FedEx trucks waiting for them to drop packages on empty doorsteps and I will not be a victim.

And Todd and I have been texting back and forth all day because he’s taking my car to the dealership tomorrow and I told him he must take the rental car they’re offering because SNOW, Todd. And I also wanted to know if he had an ETA on that delivery so I could actually leave the damn house for some necessary items at the grocery store without missing the truck, and he of course called me because he’s driving from campus to campus today for meetings and other things that make his life busier than mine… and he wonders aloud if mercury is still in retrograde and I’m like HELLO! of course it is – why do you think the engine light is back on in my car??? Which it actually isn’t – because it went off again all by itself, which is NOT reassuring by the way and I’m not buying it.

So, I looked up mercury in retrograde and it appears that it is and it’s in the “intensified” stage – and I don’t really know what that means in the universe but it’s bad enough in the regular stage so… this really doesn’t bode well for the rest of the mechanical shit in our lives so maybe we’d best just stay home and drink for the next 5 days until it passes.

Meanwhile Todd is expressing frustration over work-related bullshit and I used my best Todd-impression to tell him that he can’t fix it and why would he want to and just go to work and enjoy it without the responsibility of leadership and he actually agreed with me. And I said to him, patient, you are not. Which of course reminded him of Yoda, and then the rest of our conversation was dominated by Tara’s side being answered by Yoda. He does a mean Yoda impression, which is adorable except when you’re trying to have a serious conversation about delivery trucks and Christmas gifts not yet purchased.

When I was looking for Yoda gifs, I also saw this one. Does anyone else feel slightly uncomfortable watching this?