A Good Man

A good man is thoughtful. Kind. Generous. He opens his home and life to others, to share and bring joy to them. His home has an open door. He doesn’t place conditions on when or who can enter.

He is empathetic. He understands that people deserve respect and compassion. He understands the importance of making others feel valued. He never makes anyone feel “less than.” He doesn’t judge someone for their choices, or make fun of someone’s appearance.

He never notes that someone is “fat,” or has a big nose, or has bad skin, or has cheap clothes. He doesn’t notice these things, nor does he care to. He knows the importance of character, not a person’s shell. He also knows that statements like these are a reflection of ignorance, and his own character.

A good man tells the truth. He doesn’t manufacture half-truths and lies to serve his selfish agenda.

A good man works hard. He puts his time in, and he gives it 100%. He doesn’t cut corners. He has integrity. The people he works with/for could never say any less of him.

He doesn’t take money from (or rely on) his mother, or his father, because he can’t or won’t work hard enough to make his own way. But he’s not too proud to borrow if he needs to – and then he pays it back. ALL of it.

He knows it’s not all about him. Other people matter.

He recognizes that some people have it harder than he does, and he is humbled by his blessings. He shares those blessings with others.

A good man helps others. He has no expectations of returns. He believes in the moral value of doing so.

A good man doesn’t judge people by the color of their skin, the culture they live in, their economic status, or the God they worship. He values the diversity of views and experience that everyone brings to the table, and what we can learn from each other.

He doesn’t label people Black, Asian, Jewish, or terrorist. He knows these labels demonstrate a weakness of character, and that they inhibit our ability to understand and love others.

A good man treasures a Good Woman (or good man). He loves her unconditionally, not based on how like him she is or how she can serve him. He values her differences. He values her views and her thoughts and her ideas. She has her own voice and she goes her own way sometimes, and that’s WHY he loves her.

A good man doesn’t belittle his wife, put her down, or call her a bitch when she won’t do things his way. He doesn’t keep a running tab of all the things she “won’t do.” He doesn’t try to “break” her. He doesn’t force himself on her. He doesn’t scream at or threaten her. He doesn’t hold the money or the car keys over her to control what she does.

A good man doesn’t engage in abusive behavior. He doesn’t lay hands on her, or threaten to punch her, or threaten retaliation, or destroy her belongings, or call her names in front of her children.

He recognizes that disagreements happen, and that they’re an opportunity to air grievances safely and come to understanding or compromise, without fear or harm. That they can get past them and still have love and respect for each other.

A good man teaches the children to value their mother. He does this by revering her and respecting her, and teaching them to do the same. He values his own mother, never insulting or belittling her in front of them, or encouraging them to find humor at her expense.

A good man values his children. He values their individuality apart from, not their similarity to, him. He allows them to BE children, not his friends who need to take care of him and be there for him. He knows they’re not an extension of himself. He doesn’t point out that they look just like him, and nothing like their mother.

He raises them to be responsible, respectful, and kind, always. He teaches them integrity, tolerance, and empathy. He holds them to a higher standard, so that they value others’ differences and opinions. That they can be generous without compromising who they are.

He allows them the freedom to become who they want to become, without attaching himself and his own needs to their vision of their futures. He doesn’t manipulate them to do what he wants, while calling it love. He understands that his actions affect them for a lifetime, and that there are both negative and positive implications.

A good man knows he’s not always right, and admits when he’s wrong. He acknowledges his responsibilities and doesn’t make everything someone else’s fault.

He doesn’t act like he knows everything, and he’s mature and confident enough to understand that this is not a weakness. He asks earnest questions and keeps an open mind along the way.

A good man knows it’s not the size of the diamond, or the type of car he drives, or the house he lives in that makes him a good man – it’s the principles, the humor, the moral code, the SPIRIT by which he lives.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

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