What I Did On My Summer Vacation – Week 3

I’ve decided to open a hostel.  Really.  The renovations in the rec room are moving along with the stops and starts of a failing transmission… but not for lack of effort, as time marches on and there is of course living to be done in the midst of obligations.  Nevertheless, Todd has nearly completed the ceiling and we shall be painting (hopefully) at some point today or tomorrow. 

We have adopted our oldest nephew into our home, and his first decision was choosing in which of the two additional bedrooms he wanted to throw down his clothes.  I joked that if we were going to adopt him, he’d have to change his last name – which is hilariously funny since we have the same last name.  I’m sure this is way funnier to me than to you.  I amuse myself.

Meanwhile, the next day I had the opportunity to participate in the coolest road trip ever – if only vicariously – offering up a room for the night to the daughter of a college friend.  She and her friend are visiting museums in various cities from DC to Chicago and so I offered up our second bedroom for their passage between Baltimore and Philly.  Which meant, essentially, I had to clean out bedroom #2 of all the shit I had just stashed in there from what is now nephew’s room, and clean up the bathroom (also on the roster for renovation and an atrocity all its own) to some level of usability. (I made sure they knew where the main level bathrooms were and urged welcomed them to use them.) 

As they were getting in very late that evening, I warned the kids that there were two girls coming to stay and not to be alarmed if they woke to find two strangers in the kitchen.  Ava – my tireless adventure seeker and not one to “miss a fart” – pleaded with me to let her stay up until they arrived (no) and the two boys of the house got goofy with the idea of two collegegirls staying in our house, though neither one of them surfaced before the girls had left in the morning. 

Then my brother – who is working on a project with Todd – came to stay.  Ava and I were grossly outnumbered but there was much raucous conversation and some chicken, grilled potatoes, raw vegetables, and s’mores.  We moved our impromptu soiree outside to the fire pit and imbibed roughly 3 bottles of wine (the three adults) and I have absolutely no memory of anything we talked about.  I made like a ghost sometime after Ava went to bed and woke the next morning with a wickednasty headache for which I gave up decaf in favor of high octane.

The rest of the week I served as taxi to weight training/football practice and round trip service to our orthodontist in PA, where I learned that I’m going to need a second mortgage.  Oh – and there’s this new toothpaste that colors the tartar on your kid’s teeth so they’ll know where they need to brush.  Available by prescription only, not covered by insurance, and costs only $15.  The tube is smaller than your average toothpaste, by the way, so you may want to remind your kid not to use more than a pea-sized amount.  I suggested that his blue Gatoraid will do the same thing for only 30 cents.

I also decided not to take Sabra on any more car rides after she not only got carsick on the way to football practice, but kindly avoided the towel I put down for her and barfed on the carpeted cargo area right over the handle used to lift the third row seats, so that the pocket of this handle was flooded with mucusy yellow, slightly lumpy fluid. How’s that for an image? Pi, a seasoned passenger, loves a car ride no matter how short… and her elderly status motivates me to give the girl some joy every day in any way I can.  She, however, was either a bit dirty from the backyard or she didn’t wipe properly, because there were some brown-like smudges on the leather seat.  I’m gonna go with mud.

As week three drew to a close, we were hunkered down Saturday all day and night with torrential rains and tornado-like winds and, with Todd in PA working on some stuff for my mom, I was the lone adult in a house full of miscreants.  It’s no wonder I accomplished nothing but unclogging a toilet.  I waited for Todd to return home at a quite unexpected late hour – a story which most likely requires its own post and since my reporting it makes it hearsay it shall remain his business– and we grabbed a pair of beers and fell fast asleep.

The natives are getting restless as this new week kicks off.  And I, for one, am leading the pack.  There’s a line from Lilo & Stitch: Thus far you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience.   My kids know they’re in trouble when mom kneels to the floor with head in hands.  The silence is so profound right now that I can actually hear my tinnitus for the first time in two weeks the kids having run for the hills out of the line of fire.  I’d say they have learned something useful this summer.

Did you hear that?  It’s an audible sigh.  It’s been a long day. But, there’s light at the end of the tunnelweek – as the kids go off with their dad and Todd and I get some long overdue couple time.  I can’t wait to see what we get into.

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