Distractions, Debacles, and a Date with Usher

Yesterday I had to leave the house at 5:30 to pick the kids up, and by the time I got home I was ready to go back to bed.  I curled up with my phone and read the newest post on a blog I follow.  She is a 40-something woman on a voyage through some issues I can definitely relate to, and some I would were I not happily remarried.  Some of her posts are racy and definitely for mature audiences only.  Yesterday’s post more than fit the bill. 

I read the post, perused a few emails, and quickly fell asleep.  I fell into a string of bizarre dreams, where my mom and I and Ava were in some huge mall-like venue with a concert going on, and I desperately needed a bathroom.  That was short-lived, and thankfully we never found a bathroom since with my childbirth-weakened bladder would have awakened me in a most uncomfortable way.

In the bizarre way that dreams segue into others, I soon found myself on a date with Usher.  He was driving me around in this mall complex in his fancy car (I was inside it and have no idea what it was – but for heaven’s sake, it had to be an expensive sports car) and I kept trying to convince him that I needed to change my dress and he was having none of it.  I have no idea how any of this is connected to a blog about sex in the afternoon.

I’ve been wasting away on the internet, trying not to get sucked into all the social media clusterf*cks out there and it’s getting damn hard.  It started with the Supreme Court’s (aka SCOTUS – which to me looks at first glance an awful lot like scrotus – which I find hilariously funny and questionable) decision on gay marriage.  I have – and have had – many, many gay friends and this just seems like a no-brainer to me.  Let’s just say I have many friends on Facebook too, who have expressed their opinions on the subject and thankfully no one I know was opposing.  Except one friend’s post about acceptance was rewarded by a comment about God’s anger and how “Christians are mad because they like to save the world from God’s anger.”  He even referenced Jesus, Noah, and Lot, with floods and fireballs. It put me on edge, that anyone could see God as anything but Love.  I think heaven must be a dreadfully underpopulated place if no one but obedient Christians is allowed inside.  Not trying to start a war on religious principles here – so please take your picket signs and move on peacefully.  I was raised to accept all people and no amount of Bible thumping is going to change me.  I am still a child of God.

Moving on.  The Confederate flag debacle has gone batshit crazy as stores are ripping anything with its image off their shelves and I was fine to watch quietly from a distance until TV Land took reruns of The Dukes of Hazzard off the air because the General Lee had a confederate flag on it.  That is IT!  Take away Gone With the Wind and lock it in a museum for its “historical” value in film?  Okay.  Whatever.  But NOW they’re f*cking with Bo Duke, and my 11-year-old self just threw down her soda and her bag of chips.

This made me angrier than a skunk trapped in a yard full of dogs, angrier than the CrossFit CEO tweeting a pic of a Coca-Cola bottle with the caption, Open Diabetes.  We live in a country that’s become so sensitive to every. Single. Perceived. Outrage.  What will be left of us when we take away everything that upsets any one

I try to stay off the soap box because I don’t like to stir the pot.  I hate conflict.  Really, I try not to comment or post things that will provoke a FB riot.  ‘Cause the last time I posted what I thought was a relatively innocuous rant about cupcakes in school, it incited a heated back-and-forth between two friends who didn’t know each other, which culminated into mutual blocking and privately apologizing to me.  A third friend commented that he enjoyed following me but keeps silent most of the time because he doesn’t like those types of exchanges.  Which made me sad, but I understood.  To think I could lose a friend over cupcakes?!  Really.  What is the world coming to??

So, I’ve been lurking periodically on Facebook and trying to stay calm while the parents in one online group are losing their minds over Greg Glassman and as his legion of dunces trainers continue to inflame Type 1 diabetics across the nation.  Get some knowledge, they shout!  Get your facts straight, Nick Jonas tweeted.  You have no idea what it’s like for our children, they cried!  At some point it dawned on me that nothing any of us can say will fix stupid.  And CrossFit gets a shitload of publicity.  Maybe PWD won’t go there, but the masses who really don’t understand diabetes or care about the confusion are still going to go.  Nice try, DOC, but you can’t shut them down for being stupid.  Just look at our government.

Meanwhile, I have had to look away while the wild-eyed moms regurgitate CrossFit’s statements about soda being the root of all evil (and I honestly have no idea where Coca-Cola is in all this) and the best blood pressure bomb of all:  the suggestion that our diets during pregnancy caused our children’s Type 1 diabetes.  I have two choices: join the rabid crowd or laugh out loud.  The latter is way more fun and requires a LOT less alcohol, and so I joined Twitter just when the temperatures started to rise.  I swore I’d never do it, but I jumped off the boat and right into the uncertain waters of verbal diarrhea. Like I need another distraction. 

And so I leave you to social media while I focus my time on cleaning the house and asking why there’s a cucumber seed on the bathroom floor… because time marches on and so do the ants under my front door.  Carry on.

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