It’s been a pretty shitty week. Again. It all started with that damn monthly bloody mess that ruined my mojo and made me all blubbery on the eve of my son’s 16th birthday. Yeah, I know – too much information. Well buckle up, cause there’s more.
It would be lazy to just say I’ve been pissed off. It all started the weekend of the double shift. One of our servers quit without notice, and we’re already short-staffed. But here’s the thing – I don’t know if I’m more pissed at her, or at myself. I was driving home the last night I worked with her and was thinking about the shit she’s going through, and really feeling for her, you know? So I’m pissed at myself for caring, and not the first time being burned by someone in the workplace. Nevertheless, now we are struggling to serve people once again on a skeleton staff.
Someone who caused someone I love a lot a trouble decided it was okay to walk back into their life recently. Here’s a piece of advice for all you forgiveness seekers: if you really want forgiveness, go knock on their door in PRIVACY. Don’t ambush them in a public place that they can’t escape from or throw you out of, without them looking like the asshole. I’m so angry and disappointed by this series of events, and apparently I didn’t make myself clear enough the first time.
My daughter’s school bus “sex-ed teacher” was reprimanded and that same afternoon got back on the bus, sat in his regular seat, and proceeded to interrogate everybody in the vicinity as to who “told on” him. She was so upset when she got off the bus she said her legs were shaking. SO. One email copied to everybody on the planet, and… Newsflash: Dick and his boner are now sitting in the front of the bus, right behind the bus driver. And Veruca is back on the bus and all is right with the world again.
Meanwhile, I decided to write birthday wishes all over my car windows for Opac – giggling madly to myself when I picked him up from practice. I was so excited to do something fun and silly for him, and guess what? He was raging pissed that I would “disrespect” him, and I don’t love him or even know him if I could do something like that. I know – you’re wondering if you’re missing something now, right? Yeah – so was I. It was ugly.
The political climate is a hot mess and I am maniacally oscillating between profound depression, debilitating anxiety, and downright anger. The country is so divided and people so mean, I’m holding my breath until this whole thing is over, and yet I’m scared that it will never be over. Two days ago someone (who is now no longer a friend) crossed a line and I’m embarrassed to admit I let them slip by a while back when they claimed the Holocaust was a fabrication. Someone commented today on a different thread, that “how it got this far is a testament to the collective intelligence of our country,” and they are right.
For the most part I’ve been avoiding commenting on heated threads, because it makes me upset and the troll who started it just goes on with their day without another thought. Except yesterday… some woman started regurgitating senseless rhetoric and pointing her finger at the Crooked One. And all of a sudden – to quote Eddie Murphy – I started laughing my mother-fuckin ass off.
The thread is still going strong, with no signs of abating. And like an addict I keep checking back in to see what else she comes up with. I hate to admit I admire her conviction, however deranged it might be. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry. I’m just one glass away from public drunkenness. And speaking of public drunkenness, good-lager-gone-bad Yuengling recently endorsed the Orange One. What is the world coming to?
I had yet more disappointment this week as plans for an art show I was organizing fell through. I didn’t get the response I was hoping for and, while I could easily blame so many factors on others, I own the fact that I should have started organizing earlier this year. In some ways I’m relieved – my nerves were frayed at the thought of it all – but the embarrassment at having to pull the show isn’t going to wear off for a while, I think.
It’s just another blow to an already fragile ego – one that has been behaving badly this whole year and embarrassing itself in public places. Lucky for me, I still have my family… and my husband who not only gets me, but still loves me in spite of myself.
**Disclaimer: I don’t use the upgraded service; therefore, you will see ads at the bottom of my posts (ads I don’t see because I’m not you). As it has come to my attention that certain ads may not align with my world views – I am compelled to add the following statement until further notice.
I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SUPPORT DONALD TRUMP. NOT YESTERDAY, NOT TODAY, NOT – EVER.