Random Notes:

Still have plenty of TP.

We’re all gaining weight, even the dog, who is getting more treats from everyone in the house than she’s ever had.

The drip in the kitchen faucet is diabolical.

Dropped a bar of soap in the shower and learned it’s just as loud as a shampoo bottle.

Star Wars marathon?

My plants, for the first time in like the history of EVER, are thriving. My liver, not so much.

The dreams are growing more bizarre with each night, while some remain seriously realistic – like my kids being late for school and I have to drive them but I haven’t showered yet or packed my lunch and the kitchen counter is covered with hoarded items and the bathroom where I need to shower looks like something straight out of a camper – showerhead extending out over the toilet and where’s the drain? I’m not even looking any of this shit up in my dream dictionary.

Who wants horoscopes??

I yelled at Todd for eating the peanuts and he yelled at me for feeding them to Fergus.

Who else out there thinks we’re all going to die, buried under a mountain of Pinterest crafts?

Considered two new additions to the compound. Also considered how much it will cost to feed and groom THREE dogs.

Speaking of grooming, Sabra was scheduled this week for her routine grooming. Obviously…. Todd and I are going to have to do it instead. This could get ugly. Stay tuned.

The paper goods aisle is empty. I guess they bought up the tissues and paper towels since they couldn’t get TP. That’s all fine and good, unless you have a septic system.

I suggested to O that we pull out Risk, and he said – and I quote – “that game takes forever, like days.” I said, “that’s all we have.” “Oh yeah.”

Later that day, “what if Yoda was the Sith they were looking for?” He also wondered what if the Jedi were on the dark side and Palpatine was the good guy? I suggested he write that version. He said he wouldn’t know what to write. I suggested he just start with concept, and revealed that I often don’t know what to write or which direction to take. It all starts with a laptop, a quiet room, and listening to yourself.

At the time of this posting, he has not cleaned his room.

Zoom meeting friends last night! We raised our glasses and wondered how long this would last. (The shut-in, not the meeting.) It was short –because it was 11 pm and we all needed to go to bed – but worth it. I see more of these in my future. We’ll call them, #ZoomandDrink.

Todd recited the April showers bring May flowers incorrectly as March showers bring April flowers and, when I corrected him, he insisted he was right. No, it’s APRIL showers bring May flowers.  That’s wrong, he said. I told him he was wrong. Then I remembered that saying, do you want to be right, or do you want to be married, and decided to shut up. It’s going to be a long quarantine, they say, and we can’t afford to be bickering amongst ourselves about stupid shit, right? There will be plenty of time for annoying each other.

He has also begun texting me when he thinks I’m not listening to him.

We have a leaky pipe he had to repair this morning, only to find there was more to it to fix.

Other things failing miserably: the aforementioned kitchen faucet, the refrigerator, my will-power.

Got into an “exchange of words” with a woman from a neighboring town who said people in my town (which she referred to as Mayberry) “still think it is 1920 not 2020 and cousins marry cousins there.” Given her grammar skills, I should’ve just let it go. But – the keyboard warrior in me just can’t stay retired. This is the shit that got me in trouble with my mom when I was young.

Started reading The Beautiful Ones. There’s a photo of him with a guitar sitting on a bed, barefoot. I never imagined that he had feet. I can’t stop looking at that foot. It’s got me so distracted. It’s been 3 hours and I’m still thinking about it.

I don’t think any of us will get out of this without really bad hair, clothes that no longer fit, and liver disease.