Just as I predicted, Silverfox landed himself in Facebook jail. He’s suspended for three days for using “hate speech.” And, since ya’ll are dying to know… White Trash. By comparison, I have written “f#cking asshole” at least a half dozen times on Facebook and sailed under the radar.

He’s also been banned on American Home Shield’s page, but that’s a story for another day. And do we have a story to add to his.

We had a Zoom meeting for my mother-in-law Tuesday night for her birthday, and she asked us to add in friends of theirs. Everyone had a cocktail in hand. Signs of the times.

My father-in-law: “So Dick, do you still have all your teeth?” I can’t invent this shit.
And, to that end, everyone is having tooth problems during this pandemic – the ultimate irony of stay-at-home orders: a dental emergency. Not life-threatening, but for the love of giant armadillos, no one, NO ONE, wants to be without a tooth. (Side note in case you’re wondering: Dick does still have his teeth.)

I’ve nearly dropped my phone twice in water over the last several days. Once in the toilet, and the second in the dog’s water bowl. I have to be more careful.

Fergus is back and digging in my empty pots again. I don’t know what he wants with the pot on the table I have mixed soil in for planting seeds. I bought more peanuts at the store the other day. I got them for Fergus, but Todd thinks they’re for him.

I went for a ride through cytoplasm yesterday. That was cool as shit, though I got a little bit of motion sickness. It’s an Anatomy app on O’s Oculus Go.

 

How I spent my Earth Day:

Morning call-in huddle for work. Chasing two runaway dogs who were spending their Earth Day in my backyard barking, digging, marking, and pooping. Thirty-six minutes on the treadmill, a couple of episodes of The Ranch, a trip to the post office to mail O’s room key back to the college, and lunch from “O’s grill.”**

Cutting fabric for masks and using the sewing machine. There was an issue with “entangled thread” and the motor locked. I couldn’t figure out how to fix it so I went to the couch to read and promptly fell asleep. It’s all too much for me.

Listening to my two men complain about their respective jobs. One is irritated with lack of communication and the other is pissed off about registration. I’m just happy to be home today and not working, but I don’t dare say that to them.

And finally, drinking Apothic Inferno, because coping.

Thirty years ago I was in Central Park with some one million people. It was an absolutely beautiful 80+ degree day but we couldn’t hear or see a thing. Looking across the lawn next to The Met, it was wall-to-wall people, and people were actually mounted in the trees. My friends and I got fed up after one of us had to pee and the line to the port-a-potty looked like a section of Hands Across America, and so we left early. We didn’t get a t-shirt, and we didn’t hear the B52s play. I also don’t think we were particularly focused on the real reason for the day.

 

Random tidbits:

Giant armadillos have the most teeth of land mammals: 74 (as many as 100).

Ceramic mugs are made using a plastic mold, poured into the mold, followed by firing, glazing, and a second firing.

Bread exposed to air only has about 30 to 60 minutes before the bread begins to go stale. Heat and moisture outside of refrigeration accelerate the deterioration process.

85 T-Shirts is currently on hold. I think he’s bored of the same uniform. He’s moved to polo shirts. Let’s hope it’s temporary.

*April 22nd is Jack Nicholson’s birthday. One of my favorite legendary actors. Happy Birthday Jack!

**O’s Grill, where the food is fresh, the food is good, and the company is better. Served deck-side in the sunshine.

 

Today’s Holidays – April 23

National Picnic Day. Not the best day for it, but you could do it inside.

Love Your Thighs Day. Finally! (Because there’s no social distancing there.)

Talk Like Shakespeare Day. Wherefore art thou, oh Todd, still at work?

National Lover’s Day. Look out Todd, I’m coming for ya thee.