By no means a single day collection. I write stuff down on pieces of paper and so this compilation comes from that stash in my work bag and on my desk at home.

There’s an actual street called Bittersweet Drive and I’ve decided it will be the title of one of my short stories. Or, maybe should be the title of The Novel.

What causes static electricity? It’s the theme song for March. Sszzztt! Ow!  Sszzztt! Ow! (To answer the question – your body picks up free electrons when you’re walking on carpet and then when you touch something metal, these electrons flow from you to the object and … sszzztt!)

Got an email recently that offered “informative information” and I’m thinking this is doubly redundant. Or is it? Maybe not all information is informative? Best to clarify, I guess.

Extreme parenting – poop assessment series. Oh the joys of working the phones in a pediatric office. I do remember the days of discussing the kids’ poop. Literally a topic of daily discussion right up there next to, “what’s on TV tonight?”

Speaking of poop, there are supplements you can give the dogs to make them stop eating poop. It seems to have worked. So far.

There’s a book called Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, and now I’m wondering if I need to read it.

Oatmeal, soup, quinoa, eggs, fish, and beans are all classified as filling foods.

Overheard in the lunchroom: stinky bits. Stinky bits and how to wash them. This just might need to be lumped together with extreme parenting.

If you’re being cremated and are having a viewing first, do you have to pay for your viewing casket?

I want my caller ID to say Savage AF. That rocks.

If you see pine cones in my car, don’t ask questions, just go with it.

Also in extreme parenting – what is it with the “Big Girl” and “Big Boy” praise? So much emphasis on it and I just want to shout NO! You do not want to be a big girl! You have to work and pay bills and wash people’s dirty socks and underwear, unclog toilets, and clean up dog messes. Just, no.

When preparing a smoothie, best not to confuse cinnamon with cayenne pepper.

I recently earned Fitbit’s March of Penguins badge, for walking 70 miles total, and Urban Boots for passing 15,000 steps in a day.

Watching two female dogs humping each other was not something I’d ever thought I’d see. Also, heat usually lasts about 2 to 4 weeks. Shout out to Always maxi pads – especially useful at this time with a small pair of underwear with the tail cut out – they can do far more than advertised, by the way, as witnessed last week when Todd forgot to remove them before Bee went outside. Always can hold a full load of poop and urine. (Oh YES.)

And there’s the poop word again and it was so totally not intentional. It almost fell into a new My Life Is Shit post but no one really wants the details on that.

Currently reading The Water Dancer by Te Nehisi Coates and … you all need to read it. Historical, moving, astounding.

Holidays Observed Today:

April Fool’s Day (natch) as well as St. Stupid Day, so I’ll say Happy St. Stupid Day to You-Know-Who and then, April Fool’s! Because you a bitch.

It’s also International Fun at Work Day, National Jump in Muddy Puddles Day (Shuggie is on it), and National Burrito Day!

AND, Poetry and Creative Mind Day – which is right up my alley.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

Besides being the month of spring and blooming flowers, April is a pretty noteworthy month:

Apple Inc. was founded on this day in 1976.

The Netherlands was the first country to allow same-sex marriage, today in 2001.

George Washington became the first President of the United States on April 30^th, 1789.

Shakespeare, Queen Elizabeth II, Leonardo da Vinci, and my mother-in-law were all born in April.

Three terrible tragedies in April: the Titanic sunk on April 15, 1912. Chernobyl’s devastating nuclear accident on April 26, 1986. And the legendary Prince died on April 21, 2016 (in case I’ve never mentioned it.)

And, for my dear husband, who already knows this and everything else in this Jeopardy category – the first Ford Mustang was released on April 17, 1964. The price tag – $2,368. The first one was purchased by Gail Wise (who still owned the car as of 2018), now valued at roughly $350,000-$450,000.

Ellen and William Craft were slaves in Macon, Georgia who escaped to Philadelphia in 1848 by Ellen posing as a white man traveling with William acting as her servant. This is an astonishing feat that not only made them famous but made them targets of slave catchers, such that they emigrated to England for several years to raise a family. Eventually they returned to America and opened a school for children of freedmen in Georgia. Running a Thousand Miles for Freedom; Or, The Escape of William and Ellen Craft from Slavery, written by them and published in 1860.

I updated the Cast of Characters Page today. I added Bee, Shuggie, and SIL.