What Not To Do, and Other Things

Do not forget your glasses when you go to the grocery store. And especially during check-out, do not repeatedly press “no” when the POS asks you a question you can’t read. Especially if the question is, is the amount correct? – not, do you want cash back?

Do not mistakenly take someone else’s shopping cart when you leave the deli counter. (A sincere sorry to the customers who were forced to start over.)

Do not go to another high school’s football field and start a fight with parents of the home team.

Do not ever, never ever, put your head inside your 15-year-old’s hamper to reach the dirty clothes at the bottom.

Do not execute a left turn into the school drop-off line when the school principal is crossing it at that very moment.

Do not make veiled accusations to your husband for the whereabouts of your anything, without thoroughly ruling out your own guilt.

Do not eat Skittles or other hard candies over the age of (conservatively speaking) 40. Unless you like having fillings replaced.

Do not leave the cap off of your liquid foundation, nor leave the open bottle too close to the edge of the counter, if you’re in a hurry.

Do not risk 12 years of amicable neighboring by discussing politics with your neighbor. Unless, of course, you know you’re on the same side of the proverbial fence.

And, on that note, Do not place Presidential candidate signs on your business property. Hello, commercial suicide.

Further, Do not steal your neighbor’s political signs. You will be arrested.

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Other Things…

True story: Man steals his neighbor’s Trump signs from the front yard. He is arrested and has to go to court. The neighbor offered to drop the charges if the man would wear a Trump t-shirt and stand on a corner waving Trump signs. The man opted for the charges.

I saw a man in the restaurant recently who looked a lot like Bill Clinton. I wonder if anyone has ever told him that? Given the present political climate, I wondered if he’d be insulted. Then I thought, what if he’s a Republican? It would really suck to be a Republican and be Bill Clinton’s doppelganger. Especially right now.

The middle school almost burned down on Thursday and thank God it was only some faulty motor thingy connected to one of the building’s air handlers. Actually, there was no fire, just a weird smell that prompted our new principal to call 911 just moments before the busses carrying students arrived. Three firetrucks and an ambulance. We were allowed to pull into the drop off line, where I sat for 25 minutes waiting for the fire department to declare the building safe and praying this wasn’t going to end badly.

One of the Amish farms along the route north to my ex’s house has Trump signs posted on their property. It never occurred to me that the Amish would vote in a presidential election. They shun television and (I assume) the internet, but I suppose they read the papers. Still – how is it that they come to support Donald Trump?

And then, is it possible to make a better decision for president without the noise of television, radio, and social media? What if none of these mediums were available to us, and we only had print? Or word of mouth? Or public appearances? Was there any less drama in colonial days?

 

**Disclaimer: I don’t use the upgraded service; therefore, you will see ads at the bottom of my posts (ads I don’t see because I’m not you). As it has come to my attention that certain ads may not align with my world views – I am compelled to add the following statement until further notice.

I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SUPPORT DONALD TRUMP. NOT YESTERDAY, NOT TODAY, NOT – EVER.

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