Welp, today’s the day. Todd says “someone” smells like pee and since I’m pretty sure it’s not me, Sabra is getting her bath today. Her fur is long and getting fluffier by the day so I anticipate this is going to be a joyful adventure.

I read that monkeys shouldn’t eat bananas, that it’s equivalent to feeding them cake and chocolate. You know who should be eating bananas? My SON. I have about 8 frozen bananas that will soon be joined by four more on the counter that he hasn’t eaten.

In just 24 hours, our schedules have shifted yet again. The two teams will now be alternating weeks. I have one more day in office this week, and then next week working entirely from home. The following week I’ll be in office four days. We’ve got two amazing teams I’m proud to be associated with.

Meet Joy. She was finally released yesterday. She took a run in the neighborhood to cheer the neighbors. She plans to do more jogging, but today it’s very windy (she has a bit of trouble in windy conditions) and pretty sure becoming an untethered hot-air balloon is against stay-at-home rules. Future plans: yoga and calisthenics. (Videos to come.)

Pat me on the back notes: four loads of laundry, 2 miles on treadmill yesterday (+ a quarter-mile jog with Joy), weeded the front garden and started the back, emptied the dishwasher, paid all the bills through my next paycheck, and made chicken fajitas for dinner. Opac wanted panini, so I made a version of Quiznos’ Baja Chicken sandwich, the one with BBQ sauce and cheddar. He ate it. I’m assuming he liked it?

Ways this has changed me: I’ve stopped wearing makeup. Except to work – and now I am only wearing concealer and mascara. I don’t give a rat’s ass about ironing my work pants. Oh you think it looks like I slept in them? Deal with it. One shopping trip per week, at most and only if absolutely necessary. I’m eating more carbs. Every sneeze and cough I hear in the house makes time stand still. I have more empathy for the parents with screaming children on the phone. I hold my breath until I’m masked. I’m wearing pajama pants like a Walmart shopping BOSS. I may try them at work.

Happy Hour starts earlier and earlier every day. Shout out to our governor for maintaining liquor stores as essential businesses, and also to Todd for keeping me and my ice supply full.

Both kids are schooling from home and are working ahead of the curriculum. V needs a notebook and a book for her English class that is here at home. That means there’s a meet-up in the near future. Ex and I spoke at length yesterday and we both agree that she should continue to stay with him. O’s location is up for scrutiny/debate. All rules say stay put but I do understand how he’s feeling.

From the Rabbit Hole: I dreamed a pipe was leaking upstairs and the kitchen ceiling was caving in, but we couldn’t find the source of the leak.

*******

Today’s stats:

Mental Health: 10 (still coming off that high from yesterday’s release of Joy)

Physical Health: 8 (I don’t think I’ll ever be higher, so I’ll take it.)

Paper Supplies: 8 (unaware so I’ll keep it an optimistic “8”)

Alcohol: 8.5 (Luksusowa is about 2/3 full now)

Books read: Plan to start Pachinko today. (Yes, I know this is repeat of yesterday)

Today’s T-shirt: Yoda

*******

With no further explanation I offer these random tidbits:

The tufts of fur sticking out of a cat’s ear are called… ear furnishings. You’re welcome.

Did you know that the word “friends” is said in all 236 episodes of Friends?

Picasso’s full name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruíz y Picasso. TWENTY-THREE words long. Today’s challenge: reconstruct your own name with as many words.

There’s a “micromuseum” themed for Object Journalism in New York in an elevator shaft. It’s on Cortlandt Alley between Franklin and White Streets. (Bucket list.)

The average length of men’s tongues: 3.3 inches. Women’s average length: 3.1 inches. Gene Simmons’ tongue: 7 inches. Number of women Gene has slept with: 4,897. On a scale of 1 to 10 sexy? -0.